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Whether you’re partner is on the other side of the world or no one you meet is up to standard, the long days and nights of sexlessness can start to play tricks on your mind.
Here are some of the crazy ways our mind works when we find ourselves in a dry spell that we fear may never end.
Stage 1: What is I forget how to do it?
During a dry spell, you can almost certainly start to worry if sex is really like riding a bike, or if it’s something you’ll have to relearn with an annoyed and unassuming partner who is confused with your inability to know where to put your arms, or when to get down to business.
In all honesty though, if you were once good at sex you probably still will be, but the anxiety can make that dry spell last longer.
Stage 2: Crap! Everyone knows!
Unless you’re putting up flyers in your neighbourhood or calling up every talkback radio segment, really, no one knows that you haven’t had sex in a looong while.
Yes, you may have found yourself sat at a bar flirting and convinced that the person in front of you knows that you haven’t had sex in six months and is either turned on or turned off by it. But repeat this mantra ‘No One Knows’
Stage 3: I am officially going to be celibate forever
Pretty much every time someone has said they are now celibate, you’ll nod your head in understanding because you’ll understand that they are in a dry spell that’s tricking them into celibacy — and it’s almost always in the winter, when they haven’t the energy or passion for anything, let alone sex. Suddenly, the weather is warmer, they find themselves on Tinder and poof! Celibacy over.
Stage 4: Hit on everything that move
This bizarre notion typically happens under the influence, you start get a little tipsy and you want that dry spell to be over for good. Perhaps, this next person who walks in will be hot, single, and who knows? Maybe he’s your future partner for life. He’s not though, turns out the next person to walk into the bar is your cousin and you definitely are not going to have sex with him.
Stage 5: The Google Search
“How long does it take to be ‘revirginized’?” The most popular answer is seven years. Although, to be honest, you are still not a virgin because you have at one point, even a very long time ago, lost your virginity — and you are never going to get it back.
Yes, if having a second virginity was possible, we would want it to be just as special as the first … but, that’s the dry spell talking.