Your shopping cart is empty!
There are orgasms, and then there are hold-it-right-there, don't-stop, floating-on-a-cloud orgasms. When you're aiming for the latter, we know they can seem elusive—or even downright impossible—to achieve. The most important thing about achieving an orgasm is not thinking about the orgasm. I know, it sounds counterintuitive. But if you’re too focused on the absolute need to get off and see stars, you’re essentially psyching yourself out. Turning it into some game that you have to win takes all the fun of out of it. So first things first: slow down and go easy on yourself.
Thinking about sex or orgasming before your have it is the best way to get your body ready. Why else would ‘mommy porn’ be so popular? Use your imagination, watch a sexy television show or movie or read a sexy book to turn yourself on way before getting down to business.
One reason that orgasms can be hard to achieve is because you’re switching positions too much when you’re with a partner. Women generally need more foreplay than men, but we also need dedication. If this means your partner has to get off first and then focus on you, so be it. Find a position that works and stay there if you want to. This is a marathon, not a sprint.
Sometimes our hands, mouths, or someone else’s genitals just aren’t enough. If you masturbate using a vibrator, don’t be afraid to whip it out when you’re with someone else. Clitoral vibrators and rabbit vibrators are perfect for some solo time or enhancing a coupled-up experience, while finger vibrators are an easy to use addition while getting hot and heavy.
If you aren’t mutually masturbating every now and again, you are not living your best life. Sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands and nothing is hotter than being a little bit vulnerable and watching each other get your own happy ending. This also helps for next time — when you see what they do, you can repeat it later. And maybe even get some new ideas for your own routine.
While stimulating your clitoris, try to stimulate other body parts to get a whole body orgasm. For some, playing with the nipples can add an extra bit of excitement. Or just double up down there and stimulate the vaginal opening while working on the clit. Don’t be afraid to explore your anus, because you might surprise yourself. (Really, it might blow your mind.) Just like general mind and body self-care, taking a holistic approach to your orgasm and stepping away from the vagina — just not too much — can increase the sensation.