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We’re always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm, or a better relationship. But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? What about when it comes to the question of whether to attend a sex party? There are lots of things to think about before deciding to attend, and even once you have made the decision to go. That being said, a sex party can also wind up being one of the most exciting nights of your life. Here are 12 things to know before attending your first sex party.
Do Your Reasearch
Sex parties are becoming more and more popular, which means there’s more and more variety in the parties themselves. Take some time to research the specific party you’ve been invited to. What are the details of this party? Where is it being held? How many people are anticipated?
Talk to the Organisers
If you can’t find enough information on the invite or website, don’t hesitate to reach out to the party organizers directly.
A lot of people hear the word “sex party” and think of the orgy scene in Eyes Wide Shut. Sex parties can be ridiculously hot, but they can also be ridiculously awkward or uncomfortable! The kink community draws all kinds.
Consider Your Boundaries
Perhaps the most important aspect of attending a sex party is getting really clear on your boundaries. What do you want to get out of this party? What would make the experience seem fun and exciting?
Practise Saying No
Showing up at a sex party doesn’t mean you consent to any and every activity taking place. You may be invited to participate in certain activities that you’re going to want to say no to.
Consider Just Watching
You don’t have to go whole hog for your very first sex party! If it would make you feel more comfortable (and if the party rules allow), consider just going to watch.
Consider Bringing a Buddy
It is highly recommended that you bring a friend with you to the party. It’s nice to have someone that you trust there with you.
Stay Mostly Sober
A drink to steady your nerves is fine, but you don’t want to be drunk or on drugs.
Respect Others Boundaries
Of course, you need to respect other people’s boundaries, and the rules of the party. Ask for consent for everything you do, and keep in mind that a lack of a response isn’t a “yes”.
Acknowledge Your Nerves
There’s no way around it — you’re bound to be a little nervous at your first party! There are plenty of experienced sex party-goers who still feel nervous before every party. Give yourself permission to feel nervous or awkward.
Give Yourself Breaks
Sex parties can be overwhelming. Plan to give yourself a few breaks to be alone and process your reactions. Duck into the bathroom for a few minutes of alone time.
If you do decide to join in on the fun, remember to practice safe sex. Come prepared with your own condoms, lube, or dental dams.
Read the full article at Bustle.com to learn more about the 12 tips for having a safe and enjoyable time at a sex party.